


Fun and Games

by GrumpyJenn



Series: Timey Wimey Adventures [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-02
Updated: 2012-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-30 12:04:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/331561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyJenn/pseuds/GrumpyJenn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What happened to River Song? Where did she go? And what's with the cryptic notes? </p><p>Post-series-6 for 11, post-Pandorica-Bang and pre-Byzantium-Crash for River. Timey-Wimey. MANY thanks to SnowyAshes and beverlymaldoran for suggestions and mad editing skillz</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Limerick

**Author's Note:**

> I own nothing

River Song was not entirely a Time Lady.

It was easy to forget this fact; she had all the qualities the Doctor associated with his own species. She could  _(had been able to)_ regenerate. She was stronger and cleverer than almost all humans. She needed more sleep than he did (but still very little by human standards), and she didn't heal as fast, but there were  _(had been)_ natural variations within the Gallifreyan population anyway. She could pilot a  _(his!)_ TARDIS because she understood the physics (and because Sexy  _liked_  her). She was infuriatingly competent and tantalizingly sexy and teasingly arrogant and all... well... Time-Lordy. So he tended to forget - in spite of her genetic parentage and her... eclectic... upbringing - that in many ways she  _was_ human. Even 21st century human, really.

Until he got a message from her. Because only a human would put it in  _limerick_  form. Humans were so silly and sentimental and - Well, really, that was part of the reason they were his favorite species, they weren't afraid to... No! Not important right now. Must  _focus_...

In  _any_  case, only a human would be likely to send a message in limerick form. Well, or  _him_. The Dream Lord. The Doctor shuddered; let's not go  _there_ again. But it wasn't  _him_  this time, like it had been when Amy'd had to choose... the Doctor would recognize  _him_ again.

_There once was a girl born of Time_

_Who'd oft been accused of a crime_

_The stream has been stilled_

_But not yet been killed_

_Find help at the sound of the chime_

He read it, silently to himself. Then he read it aloud, so he could  _hear_ it better and guess at her intent. And as the last word of the rhyme was spoken - as though it was a cue (and it probably was, because Sexy  _liked_ River) - the Cloister Bell began to ring, and the TARDIS started herself up for parts unknown to him. He hated when the Old Girl did that... she may take him where he is needed, but... oh. Right. She was probably taking him to River herself. Or to the place to "find help"... which could be good  _or_  bad.

But he was certain in his hearts that it was  _bad_. Or at the least  _not good._

 _Very not good._  He could see River trying to play a prank on him - chime equalling cloister bell and all that - but the tone of the poem was very serious in spite of the silly limerick form. The first two lines were obvious - they described River herself - and the last one was fairly straightforward. But the lines in the middle... those were ominous  _"The stream has been stilled, but not yet been killed"._  He shivered. He figured that "the stream" referred to River too, and that she'd been... subdued somehow,  _stilled_. Kidnapped?  _(Under normal circumstances he'd pity the kidnappers, really, but with this message...)._ And he was pretty sure the TARDIS would  _never_ allow her Cloister Bell to be used for a prank - not even for River Song.

And she  _liked_  River.

He was worried for her. She was playful, often, and she loved double meanings (especially of the sexy variety) but this - this smacked of danger and... and dangerous things. He read the poem again, and the words " _but not_ yet  _been killed"_ struck him as especially grim. Not  _yet_? As in  _she's going to be killed_  but it hasn't happened yet? Yes indeed, very  _very_ not good. "Sexy? Where are you taking us? Do you know what this rhyme means?" The TARDIS projected several pictures on a screen - Leadworth's post office (was it  _always_  shut?) and the duck pond ( _that_ was cool, even without ducks) and of the flat where Amy and Rory now lived. Then she snapped the screen off in a  _don't bother me; I'm busy_  sort of way, so he went back to thinking. Thinking was good.


	2. Silence

The man was bored. He needed a new game, some new toys,  _something_  new to do. So he began flipping through his historical archives, looking for something _new_. "Boring, boring, done that, boring, oh  _so_ tedious, boring, been there, boring... what's this? She  _killed the Doctor_?" Even  _he_  hadn't been able to do that. "Oh, she  _must_ be a clever girl... a challenge..."

/

River woke with a start, aware that something was very wrong.  _It was too quiet_. She shuddered convulsively at the thought of the Silence, but quickly realized that this was an  _ordinary_  silence, a quiet born of... not the  _presence_  of something, but rather a lack of it.

There was no storm outside her cell.

She sat up and looked around. Nothing to see; it was too dark even for her. She felt around her. Bed seemed normal. But that was  _all there was_... just her bed from the Stormcage in a dark room. Hardly a room, even - she could reach out and touch the walls on either side of the bed, and they were smooth. No shelves, no hangings... just the cool smooth walls and the bed and the dark. There was what might be a door but it had no handle or tactile way to open it. Bits of her in the back of her mind were screaming with terror, but she  _must_  remain calm. This situation was strange, surreal, and somehow ominous, as though vaguely remembered from a childhood nightmare... and her nightmares - like her childhood - had not been normal by anyone's standards. This was not a good situation  _at all_. This required calm. And careful planning. And thought.

So River sat back to think. As her Doctor might say... thinking is good.

/

 _Still bored_ , he thought,  _why doesn't she_ _ **do**_ _something? She just sits there... doesn't cry, doesn't scream for help, doesn't do more than try the door once and then give up! Time to add a little roll of the dice... and see what my new toy does..._

/

River heard the clattering noise and sat bolt upright on the bed. And then the lights came up suddenly enough to make her shield her eyes. As soon as she could bear it, she took a quick look around the room. She had been right - the room was slightly less than two metres by three, and in one end was a door... or what would be a door if it had had visible hinges or latches. It didn't.

But it slid open.

River regarded it warily. Should she leave the dubious safety of this room and venture out? Or risk being stuck in here? It was the thought of the dark and the silence in this room weighing down on her again that decided her. She got up from the bed and peered around the door frame. It was a featureless corridor as far as she could see in both directions- just pale grey walls and ceiling and floor, all the corners rounded and seamless. She took a deep breath and stepped out into the hallway, facing to the right. The door - not unexpectedly - silently slid shut behind her.

And the lights went out, leaving her in inky blackness again. "All right," she said aloud, refusing to give into the eerie silence, "So keep one hand against the wall. Won't work against a good perception filter, but..."  _Oh yes, River my girl, make some noise,_ she thought.  _That helps against the silence. And the dark._  And she began to walk, trailing her left hand along the wall. She began to sing a little tune -  _Tick tock goes the clock, He cradled and he rocked her. Tick tock goes the clock, 'Til River kills the_...- under her breath, then realized  _what_  it was she was singing and stopped abruptly, both the singing and the walking.  _Oh please, please, please Old Girl, if you can hear me,_ she thought desperately,  _please bring my Doctor here now. Please. I need him, please..._

/

The man sat up straight.  _This_  was interesting. Was she trying to send some sort of psychic distress call? Perhaps she wasn't as clever as he had thought; she certainly couldn't do  _that_ from in here. And to whom was she making this futile attempt? It looked like - but  _she had killed him_  - history  _said_  she had. Why would hisTARDIS still... unless he was alive! The man rubbed his hands together with satisfaction, thinking  _this is going to be amusing_... and the Doctor! - If the Doctor was alive in spite of this girl, then how much more fun would it be to play them  _both_  through his new maze? He would make it easy for the Doctor to find them... he just needed to send a message or two of his own.


	3. Haiku

"Of course!" shouted the Doctor, highly excited. "Sexy, you beautiful, brilliant thing! 'The stream has been stilled', and what's a still stream but a Pond? A duck pond, an Amy Pond, a Rory Pond, a  _Melody Pond_! Bit of a relief, that... I thought River was in trouble of some kind.  _Blimey_! Right then, Old Girl, open your doors and let's go see the Ponds!" He spun about and sauntered to the doors.

The doors did not open.

Damn. He had known it. He had  _known_ this was very very not good.

"No. No no no no  _no_ _ **no**_! Sexy, this is not  _possible_! It was perfect, the perfect solution... River leaves a quirky message involving ponds, and we find her at the Ponds'!" He spun around, angrily this time, and strode to the console, shaking the screen nearest the doors in both hands. " _Tell me what is going on_!" There were indignant bleeps and squawks from the console as the querulous sound of Amy's voice came from outside the doors. "Rory, I don't  _care_  that he hasn't opened the doors, if he didn't want to see us the TARDIS wouldn't be here!" The Doctor took a deep breath, steadying himself against the console. "I'm sorry I shouted, Old Girl," he said, in the quietest voice he could manage, "Please, help me find River.  _Please_. If she's hurt, or... or..." he choked on the word and closed his eyes briefly, trying to compose himself. He  _must think_.

The doors opened and Amy fell into the TARDIS, having been leaning on them. Rory sighed, helped her up, and entered more decorously. The Doctor opened his eyes to look at them, and saw that they knew - if they didn't know  _what_ was wrong, they at least knew  _something_  was. "If it's not you that needs us," said Rory, looking a bit sick, "then it's River. Isn't it?"

The Doctor nodded. "She left a message, a poem - a limerick, really - and it led the Old Girl here to you." He held out the little slip of paper. His hands were shaking slightly.

Rory took it, and he and Amy bent their heads over the little verse. Amy started shaking her head almost immediately. "River didn't write this."

"But..."

" _No_ , Doctor, River did not write this! Look at it; she's not that coy about things that are really dangerous, she might tease and flirt but she wouldn't be all... all  _cryptic_  like this! This is from a different kind of person, one who likes scaring people just for fun. Who would do this? I thought we already took care of all the mad people who were using River to get to you! Why this  _again_? It's not fair, we've done everything that was asked of us and they're still trying to take our baby away and hurt her!" Amy was crying now, and the words tumbled over each other as she shouted at the Doctor. "And... and... if River needed help, she  _might_  call you or the TARDIS, but do you  _really_ think she'd call for me or Rory?" Her voice broke. "We're her parents, but we're also not... not  _like_  you and her... she doesn't need  _us_..." The little slip of paper fluttered to the floor as Amy turned to Rory for comfort.

The Doctor stared at them, open-mouthed. "Then why would... yes, I see, she didn't write this, you're quite right, but that doesn't mean she doesn't need you. Quite the contrary, actually." He beamed at them. "She needs you to do parenty things, like oh, you know, be her mum and dad, interpret the humany things I don't catch, those sorts of parenty things. Not things like blowing up planets, that's what  _I'm_ here for, although really, I'd rather  _not_... wait, right, back on track... what I'm saying here, Amy, Rory, is that  _River_  needs you for the same reason _I_ need you... to keep us from getting... er... too Time-Lordy for our own good." It was their turn to stare with open mouths at this burst of logic, but Rory at least nodded slowly once, as though he was beginning to understand. "Right," the Doctor said, clapping his hands briskly together, "Now that I've - sorry, Sexy:  _we've_ \- "found help at the sound of the chime", what happens next?"

And another slip of paper slid out of the TARDIS' console.

_The girl plays alone_

_In the dark and the silence_

_Come find us, Doctor_

The three of them simply looked at each other, perplexed. Amy started to speak, but Rory put his hand gently over her mouth. "Look," he said quietly into her ear, "he's got something." And they both watched as an expression of horrified realization slowly dawned on the Doctor's youthful face, making him suddenly appear ancient.

"Oh  _no_ ," he whispered, "Even  _more_  very not good than I thought." He scrubbed at his face with his hands, looking exhausted, and then he looked back up at the Ponds. "How did River get into the hands of the Toymaker?"


	4. Maze

River could see again, dimly, though it was still far too quiet for comfort. She didn't dare sing again for fear it would be  _that_ song, and so she let her footsteps be the only sound. She kept her hand on the wall, because even though it was brighter now, she feared the dark when it was paired with the silence. That was how she discovered the gap in the wall. It wasn't a large opening - perhaps a metre wide, all told - but so much the better - she could reach both sides of the corridor this way. She turned the corner.

_/_

The Toymaker didn't like using such crude tactics as basic fear of the dark - it was so  _vulgar_ , so simplistic and with no style to speak of. But he  _did_ often use them when building a new play space, to get to know his toys, to see what would make them respond. This woman had barely reacted to the darkness or to the silence, at least not outwardly. That message she had tried to send, however -  _that_  was an indication of her true state of mind. She was terrified.

_/_

River was faced with a choice. She had come to a dead end, but she had passed a couple of paths, one on either side of the corridor further back. Should she investigate here? Or go back and take one of the other paths? And if so, which one? And how was she to find her way through this maze? Whoever had done this - taken her from her safe little cell and brought her here - had done it while she was asleep and nearly defenseless. She didn't even have a lipstick on her with which to mark her path, even assuming the path stayed the same. Which seemed a bit unlikely, based on what had happened so far.

She was getting angry. Well,  _good_. She could use anger. Anger was better than that stupid crippling fear, and singing inane nursery songs to yourself.

_/_

The Doctor had better get here soon, because by herself this girl was not that interesting of a toy. But what to do in the meantime? The last time the Doctor had been here, his companions had played Blind Man's Bluff, but one needed more than one toy for that. And then he recalled the song she had been singing; its tune was sufficiently eerie to entertain him... especially if the girl played with some of his old toys to that tune. There was always dancing...

_/_

The maze  _was_ changing, River was sure of it. So she was ready for anything as she turned another corner. Or so she thought... until the music started. There were no words, but _oh_ she knew the childish sing-song tune. It was coming from everywhere, all around her. She closed her eyes briefly to compose herself.  _Not the fear_ , River told herself,  _use the anger or the fear uses you_! She opened her eyes and began to walk forward again, through the gloom and the sound of the nursery song, trying not to hum along. There was another corner ahead and to the right, so she edged up to it and took a quick look around it.

" _EXTERMINATE"_

She pulled her head back quickly. A Dalek?  _Here_? But... it  _must_ be an trick of some kind; the Daleks were all  _gone_  to the best of her knowledge. She glanced around the corner again. It was still there, floating slowly towards her. But its eyestalk was pointing down at the floor and it... it appeared to be  _swaying in time to the music_  - that  _horrible_  tune - still coming from an unseen source. It didn't seem to be threatening her, but the surreal concept of a Dalek  _dancing_ unnerved her, so she retreated.

And found that the corridor behind her was blocked by something soft and squishy, and slightly larger than human-sized. River cast a quick glance at what had suddenly appeared just behind her and nearly screamed. Slitheen, too? How had it snuck up on her without her being aware of it? And that, over there at the other end of the dimly-lit corridor... was that a  _Cyberman_? She tried to back against a wall so she could keep all three creatures within her field of vision, and discovered that the walls had gone, and the corridor was now a large round room, and she was right in the middle of it. She turned in a slow circle, trying to see everything at once, the way one had to do with the Silence. She had the fleeting thought that maybe  _they_  were here too, but since she would forget them as soon as she lost eye contact, she tried to put them out of her mind. As River turned in her slow circle, that part of her mind that was not sobbing with terror noted that more - she'd call them  _creatures_  - more creatures were appearing as soon as she turned her back, creatures of all different types. Sontarans and Silurians and Judoon and Nestene Autons, and many other species, they were all there, and all wearing human-style formal wear and swaying along to that  _damned_ nursery tune, which was itself getting louder and which now contained the  _words_... in her own voice.

_(Tick tock goes the clock, he cradled her and rocked her...)_

When she caught a glimpse of Madame Kovarian chatting amiably with the Time Lord known as The Master, her nerve broke, and she ran. She raced blindly through the crowd of alien and all-too-human creatures and sprinted for the doorway that appeared in the wall in front of her. She ran down this new corridor, her breath coming in quick sobbing gasps, and the sound of the nursery rhyme and her own pulses pounding in her head. This corridor was different, there were no branches off of it, and she skidded to a stop at the dead end, half-collapsing against the wall. And the voice came from behind her, from back the way she had come.

"Hi, Honey. I'm home."


	5. Couplets

The Toymaker rubbed his hands together with a certain satisfaction. He'd made it easy for the Doctor to find this girl, let that ridiculous blue box through without any trouble. He rather hoped the girl would kill the Doctor (again?) but so far she showed no sign of such an intention. Instead, she stood quivering against the wall, just this side of panic, staring at the Time Lord leaning casually against the other wall; she was poised to act - whether to fight or flee was unclear from her stance.

And the Doctor - well, this particular incarnation of the Time Lord known as the Doctor - looked barely old enough to pilot a TARDIS, let alone be up to playing one of the Toymakers games. He hoped their interaction would be interesting. So far, it had been rather dull.

_/_

River stared at him. He  _looked_ like her Doctor, but with all that had happened here over the last several hours, she couldn't be sure.

 _More very not good,_  thought the Doctor. He'd seen River angry many times. He'd seen her in bad situations before - more bad situations than good, actually - and he'd even seen her frightened, which she didn't show to just anyone. But frantic hysteria was not River Song's style. This would require care. He spread his hands, trying to look as harmless as possible. "River? It's me. The Doctor -  _your_ Doctor. Are you all right?"

"But how can I be sure it's really you?" There were tears in her voice as she stood opposite him, as far away as she could get and still be in the corridor, so tense he could see the muscles quiver under her skin.

He waved his arms helplessly, searching for the words, the words that would wake  _his_  River out of the terrified woman in front of him. "Er... 'fish fingers and custard'? No, that's Amy's... hmm... What about 'always and completely'?" River stood frozen there for an endless moment, staring at him with tears in her eyes, and then she leapt at him and flung her arms around his neck, kissing him fiercely on the lips.

He felt the curve of that sexy little smile against his skin as she murmured, "Hello, Sweetie," into his mouth, and he knew then that she would be all right.

He rested his forehead lightly on hers. "Did he - the Toymaker - did he hurt you?" His voice was quiet and hard, but River knew that the deadly anger barely contained in it was not directed at her.

She shook her head. "No. He only frightened me." She felt his jaw muscles tense at the sound of the almost imperceptible catch still in her voice. "Truly, my love, I'm not hurt." He pulled away, looking searchingly into her face, his hands resting gently on her shoulders, his face still tight with anger.

"Then we've got a playroom to tidy."

_/_

The Toymaker was perplexed. As he understood it, this River Song had killed the Doctor, but they appeared to be on intimate terms. Very odd behaviour really. He was sure his research on her had been correct, so the data itself must be at fault. He decided he'd require them to run the gamut of the alien creatures of which she'd showed such fear while he thought this problem through.

He ticked tasks off on his fingers to make sure he hadn't missed anything... make the girl react, right; send messages to the Doctor using that ludicrous blue box he called a TARDIS, yes; let the TARDIS through to drop the Doctor off and then get the machine out of his space, yes. He'd done all that but he couldn't help but feel he had forgotten something.

_/_

"My love, is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket?" River inquired archly, "Or are you just happy to see me?" He felt that smile against his mouth again and realized to his relief that she was quickly recovering her scattered wits.

"Er... " he said, shifting uncomfortably, "I keep the sonic in my breast pocket up here and... oh... right, yes. I've been meaning to tell you about that." He took a step back and gingerly removed a pistol from his trouser pocket, holding it by the grip between thumb and forefinger and regarding it with distaste. "Amy insisted I bring this along. I told her I had my screwdriver but she muttered something about cabinets and shoved this into my hand."

She snatched it from him, rubbing the barrel affectionately with one thumb. "Amy knows I feel naked without a nice solid disintegrator pistol," she agreed, approvingly, "What a lovely thing for her to do! Now then, shall we go use it on this Toymaker of yours?" She grinned that slightly bloodthirsty grin - the one he shouldn't like but kind of did - at him, and took his hand in her free one, heading back down the corridor.

_/_

The Toymaker frowned. Something was wrong; this was not going the way it should. The girl should not have recovered so quickly, the Doctor should not be so easy around her given that she'd killed him, and there was something pinging on the edges of his consciousness, trying to get his attention, but he couldn't catch it. He threw a wall up to slow his toys as they made their way toward him; he needed time to  _think_. Why wouldn't they give him  _time to think_?

_/_

River and the Doctor came to an abrupt halt as the wall appeared in front of them. They read the message on the wall, looked bemusedly at each other, and turned to read it again.

_Tick tock goes the clock,_

_And all the years they fly._

_Tick_ _tock goes the clock,_

' _Til you and he must die._

River shrugged, trying to look as though the words didn't bother her. "He wants some action, does he? I think I can manage that." She shot at the wall, dissolving it, and revealing the crowded but now silent ballroom behind it. She felt the Doctor start and smiled at him, only a little shakily this time. "You can see why I was... not myself." He nodded once and grabbed her free hand, leading her into the throng of aliens and humanoids in formal wear. She kept her gun at the ready, but she didn't shoot. Not yet. Nobody was threatening her or the Doctor - at least not outwardly - although the scene was incredibly eerie. All those people, alien and humanoid, all just standing there like statues _looking_ at them. At least that damned song had stopped; she wasn't sure she could've borne it if the song was still playing, even - maybe  _especially_ , given the  _other_  lyrics, the ones not written on the wall - with the Doctor's comforting presence at her side. They wove their way through the crowd to the doorway opposite the one through which they had entered.

And then they were once again in a dimly-lit corridor. As they headed down it, the Doctor whispered in River's ear. "What, no dancing? Ah well, I suppose we're not dressed for it, really." He nodded at his own tweed jacket and the loose trousers and t-shirt she had been wearing for sleeping when the Toymaker had taken her from her cell, bed and all. She flashed him a quick grin, but it faded as soon as they turned the corner. Because the Toymaker was there, standing at a desk, peering into what might have been a computer screen and muttering to himself. He did not seem to be aware of their presence. And then the Doctor spoke in that deceptively calm voice that meant he was very  _very_ angry... the one that meant that if you knew what was good for you, now was the time to run away, faster and further than you'd ever run in your life... while you still could.

"Hello, Toymaker. We've come to give your playroom a good cleaning."


	6. Game Over

The Toymaker looked up from the other side of the wide wooden desk. "Hello, Doctor. Did you enjoy my little game?"

The Doctor, still holding River's hand, slowly stalked toward him, the expression on his face revealing nothing. When he spoke again, his voice had that soft but deadly tone that made even River watch her step with him... but it wasn't directed at her. "If you had chosen to play with  _me_ , Toymaker, I might have enjoyed it more. But you chose otherwise. The last time we met, my companions and I escaped your little game, and then I allowed you the freedom to do as you pleased. But that wasn't enough for you." He paused. "No, you chose to abuse that freedom by abducting and imprisoning - and  _frightening_  - my  _wife_. I might have forgiven you the abduction - River can take care of herself."

"Thank you, Sweetie." River kept her pistol trained on the Toymaker, who was ignoring her entirely, but she glanced at the Doctor. He never took his eyes off his adversary.

"Any time, dear. Yes, I might've forgiven the abduction. But  _frightening_  her, now that -  _that_ would require tactics that would  _destroy_  a lesser woman." His voice was still quiet, but now it took on a steely quality that sent chills down River's spine. They were just across the desk now, and the Toymaker was staring at the Doctor with a kind of horrified fascination, as though one of his toys had suddenly come to life before his eyes. "I  _will not allow_ this sort of behaviour to continue. If you are going to spend your life playing games like a wayward child, you will be treated like one. And right now," he said, bringing his arm to his mouth and speaking into what looked like a wristwatch, " _right now,_  that means a trip to the naughty corner."

And behind the Toymaker, the big blue box began to materialize with its trademark  _vworp vworp_  sound. The Toymaker started and turned to look, and River relaxed her grip on the pistol as the Doctor released her hand and vaulted over the desk, removing something small and round and glittering from his pocket. He did... _something_  with the glittering object - River couldn't see what - and then the Toymaker was just...  _gone_. The Doctor pocketed the round object, which had dimmed to a sickly yellow swirling glow, and said in a much more normal tone of voice, "Right, then, come along, River. This place'll collapse as soon as it finds its master's been... removed from it. I'd rather not be here when it becomes, er... nothingness." He held out his hand to her, and she took it as they ran to the TARDIS, the Toymaker's playroom dissolving in a wash of color in their wake.

_/_

"What I don't understand," complained Amy, her accent thick with irritation, "is how you tricked this all-powerful being into your... your  _little ball of doom_. How many of those things do you have, anyway?" She peered into the chest where he kept the crystal spheres.

The Doctor sighed. "Two in use now," he said, a little sadly. "The Carrionite sisters and the Toymaker. I don't like to do it, but sometimes certain entities are better off... contained. At least so far as the rest of the universe is concerned." He sighed again. "As for how I tricked him, well... he  _wasn't_ omnipotent, you know, and-"

Amy interrupted. "Doctor, he stole River -  _and her bed_  - from Stormcage of all places! That's pretty much ultimate power, don't you think?"

"Well, Amy, I steal her from the Stormcage fairly often myself... Although I don't take the bed, we usually use  _my_  b... no, never mind! Forget that, that's not important." He looked a trifle uncomfortable, River noted, allowing herself an internal smirk, but he'd gotten himself into this conversation; he could get himself out. He clapped his hands as though to erase the last comment from their minds "Right!  _Anyway_ , the Toymaker was fairly powerful, but like any child playing with a new toy, he was also easily distracted. That  _does_ happen, you know, people getting distracted by what's going on around them or by what they're saying, and, er... yes. Well. In any case, we had a couple of secret weapons. Three, actually, working in concert." He beamed.

There was a pause. "Well?" prompted Amy, exasperatedly, rolling her eyes, "Aren't you going to tell us what they  _were_?" Rory nodded in agreement.

The Doctor looked surprised. "Why,  _you_ , of course, Amy! You and Rory and the Old Girl. Hadn't you realized? You figured out that the limerick wasn't from River, you both helped me find this place, and you kept Sexy out of the way until we needed her. Then you acted instantly on my signal. And the best part was that the Toymaker  _didn't even know you were there_. You were  _perfect_! Weren't they, River?" He looked closely at River, who was shaking her head, smiling at him. "What?"

"The disintegrator pistol, my love. Surely you haven't forgotten about it. We'd never have made it out of there if Amy hadn't forced you to bring it; there'd still be a giant wall with a stupid rhyme written on it in our way. Even assuming I'd have  _made_  it that far without the pistol; I was not in good form when you found me." She smiled fondly around at them. "We _are_  a family, after all, and it took all five of us to get the Toymaker safely contained."

She stood up and went to the console, punching the buttons and moving the levers that would take her parents home. "Now then, where to next? I'm sure that the Old Girl can take me back to the Stormcage when I need to be there... later. In the meantime, I'd prefer our own brand of fun and games." She winked at the Doctor, gesturing toward the exit with her head.

He caught her meaning, rather more quickly than usual. "Er, yes, right... Amy, Rory, thanks for your help, lovely seeing you..." He was shooing them toward the doors amid loud protests. "I'm sure you've your own er... games to play." Amy and Rory glanced at each other, locking eyes for a moment, and stopped protesting.

"Why, yes, Doctor," said Amy, giggling, "We'd almost forgotten the um... fancy dress party! Come along, Roranicus... we've got a party to attend!" Amy's voice dropped to a stage whisper close to Rory's ear. "Policewoman? Or pirate lass?"

"Er... both?" he inquired, looking both flustered and interested.

River's laughter followed them as they left the TARDIS. "Old Girl," she asked, "Would you be so kind as to close the doors? Thank you." She walked over to the Doctor and leaned against his chair. "My goodness... what sort of game do you think they had in mind?" She chuckled and kissed him. "I think I'm a bad influence on my own parents... though dress-up isn't the game  _I_ was thinking of. Do you have any ideas, my love?"

He smiled at her and pulled her into his lap. "So long as it's a game that two can play."


End file.
